Hellooooo, 2018. Boy, am I glad to be done with 2017! 2017 was beyond not my favorite year so far. In fact, between our country having a clown for president and the emotional roller coaster coming out as trans has been… I think I’ll rate 2017 as my hardest year so far. And because 2017 was so tough, I decided to set some goals for 2018 to make sure it’s a better year and that I’m taking control of the things I can in my life. So, only two weeks late (I really need a planner), here are my 2018 goals in no particular order.
1. Lose weight.
I know it’s cliché, but I think working on losing weight and then maintaining an ideal weight is going to be a forever resolution for me. I’ve gained back a lot of what I lost during my Paleo month because of my gummy bear addiction, and my pasta addiction, and my ice cream addiction, and my fruit sna— shut up, Ben, they get it! So I really need to focus on forming more healthy habits with food and turning healthy habits into a healthy long term relationship with food. I definitely eat when I’m bored or upset. I eat anytime I can justify it to myself- “it’s Friday” or “it’s Monday” or “I exercised today” or… really anything can justify overeating or putting garbage food in my body.
Self-awareness seems to be the key for me and getting healthy. When I’m aware of being lazy, it forces me to be aware of why I’m being lazy and that somehow breaks the cycle. Same goes for my unhealthy food consumption.
2. Form more meaningful friendships.
I had a lot of friends in high school. A lot of really good friends who I was close to and hung out with a lot and shared life troubles with. I met them in marching band, science club, Spanish club, church youth group, etc. I wasn’t even particularly involved with extracurriculars, but somehow it still fostered a lot of close friendships without me even trying.
College was a different story. My freshman roommate was my best friend from high school and one of our suitemates was another good friend from high school. Having built-in friendships entering college left me feeling socially comfortable and like I didn’t need to put myself out there to make new friends while everyone else was busy forging new friendships and joining clubs. Couple that with trying to maintain a 4.0 GPA while taking 19 hours (WHY did I do that to myself??) and working 30 hours a week, needing to build a new network of friends just wasn’t on the radar screen. So then I got to sophomore year and moved off-campus while my old friends stayed on campus, which culminated in us all growing apart… Long story short, I failed to really tune-in to the social stuff in college, really only made two close friends, and entered post-college adulthood feeling isolated and incapable of making new friends.
Fast forward to now. My two close friends from college have moved away to start careers and families. My friends from high school long ago went down different life paths than I did and we don’t stay in touch for the most part. Coming out as transgender distanced a lot of my friends who were still around. I work in an office surrounded by 40-somethings with wives and kids. And I’ve developed a good dose of social anxiety about trying to meet new people. Where to even start??? I haven’t figured that out, but this one is probably going to be my big focus for 2018. I’m going to pursue new friendships and work on the relationships I do have that are just very surface-level.
3. Get emotionally involved with my career again.
I hate to admit it, but I kind of checked out of my career at some point in 2017. I’ve found myself having more and more days where I goof off instead of being productive, or try to focus on my work but just get nowhere with it. Since I started college in 2011, I’ve been nothing but full-steam-ahead career focus and motivation. I think 2017 was a much needed mental break for me, especially considering that I was starting transition and had a lot on my plate in other areas of my life. But I don’t like that I’ve stalled out and lost focus. I’ve lost sight of what I want and where I’m going. I’ve just been floating through week after week of completing a checklist with no real end-game for it.
4. Walk/run 2018 miles.
A coworker mentioned this one to me at work right after the new year when we all returned to work still hungover and bloated from the holidays. That means 5.53 miles a day everyday for the entire year. Brutal and unlikely that I’ll accomplish it, but it’s something to work towards. My average so far is.. 3.94 miles a day. So clearly I’ll need to step that up. Why am I so lazy??
5. Keep a planner.
I think this one should help with 1, 3, and 4. I desperately need a better way to keep track of appointments, goals, and to-do lists than putting them all in my Outlook calendar. That’s great for work stuff because I’m always on my computer at work, so the calendar is right there with all the event reminders. But basically every errand I need to run ends up taking more than a week to accomplish because I don’t have it written down in a tangible place.
I ordered a Lemome A5 Hardcover Dot Grid Notebook so I can format my own planner. I couldn’t really find a planner in stores that had spaces for everything I need to record and wasn’t HUGE. I really like the InkWell Press planners, but why do they only come in girly colors?? Not that I’m above using a planner just because it’s cutesie, but I’ll take a stab at the whole bullet journaling thing first, since it’s completely customizable.
So here’s to you 2018! Here’s to better health, better organization, better friendships, and better career direction.